Holy cow, eight whole days without a political rant, and it's not like there wasn't plenty to blog about! Believe it or not, I'm going to extend my fast of criticism for yet another day. I'm just praying I don't explode!
I ran across an interesting concept the other day, and I have to share. What is your first reaction when someone does wrong? When you confront them, what is the first question you have for them? If your like most people your first query of them is; why? Inquiring minds want to know what thought process brought you to this behavior.
Here's a secret, it doesn't matter. When you open that door and question why, you've pulled back the curtain, and asked them to begin a performance of excuses to rationalize bad behavior. Contrary to the Freudian concept of digging back into someone's past, it's not worth the effort. First of all your not going back far enough. The behavior has nothing to do with how your momma treated you, or if your father was indifferent to your feelings when you were going through adolescence. It has nothing to do with the difference between a breast fed and a bottle fed baby. When you do this you've relieved them of the one thing that can stop the bad behavior and offered them an excuse to avoid....personal accountability.
Instead of asking why, ask them what! What did you do? The next logical step is to then ask, what can you do to make this right? That is the solution to resolving bad behavior. Hold the individual personally accountable, then seek atonement or restitution for the action. When they are held accountable, then they realize actions have consequences, consequences can be enjoyable or they can be painful. The individual has the freedom to make that decision based on his or her behavior. Good begets good, bad begets bad, this is the reason you ask what did you do, verses, why did you do that?
If your still wondering the why of someone's behavior, what I'm about to tell you is going to put a lot of psychiatrists our of business. The why is very simple...Man is born in sin, period. Once you come to that realization, the rest of the excuses are irrelevant. Wether you were dropped on your head at an early age, or a breech baby doesn't matter a lick. We all share the same excuse, we were born in sin.