Deception is such an interesting topic. We can be deceived by our senses and arrive at a distorted view of the truth as our bodies are our only link to the outside world, and within our bodies lie our senses. Let's take the analogy of a row boat. When the oar that you use to propel this vessel is lifted above the water our senses tell us it is straight. Place that same straight oar into water that you can see into and the refraction will lead you to believe the oar isn't straight. Without the prior knowledge from the oar being examined while elevated, one could be deceived into assuming the oar is bent. So how do we find certainty?
What a great question! The difference between the two scenarios listed above is our perception of the reality our senses have presented to us. To resolve the issue we have to have faith that the water didn't damage the oar. Our sense of sight is telling us otherwise, but we have to have faith that the laws we've been taught still hold true in this situation. We know an oar dipped in water cannot be bent by that simple act alone, despite what our eyes see. Things are not always as our sense perceive!
Apply this lesson to conflict resolution. The perception of one or both parties could be wrong, causing ill feeling for something that isn't what it seems. Perception is certainly part of reality, but what part do you allow it to play? Have you told yourself all the stories that could have created the conflict? When that driver cuts you off in traffic, is he an inconsiderate boob who is infringing on your driving space. Or perhaps he's a racing to the hospital after finding out his child was in an accident? Extract self from the equation and the world becomes a more peaceful place!