Put Them First!

To stay with yesterday's theme, it's important to develop a relationship, if you ever hope to get your message across. It doesn't matter if your trying to sell something, or making a point you'd like the other to see the merits of, first develop a relationship. As I said yesterday, and we've all heard before, they don't care how much you know till they know how much you care.

Relationship marketing guru Dexter Yeager has a formula for remembering the steps he uses to inspire people to listen to his message. Dexter trims this down to the acronym F-O-R-M. Family-occupation-recreation-message. His keys to a conversation!

Near and dear to everyone's heart is their family. Almost without fail you'll get an earful when inquiring about the clan. How's the kids? And what's your lovely wife been up to? I've not seen your mom in ages; what's she been doing? Is your grandson still playing soccer? How's that hard working hubby of ours been? I'll betcha this kind of interest in their family will bring out some kind of dialog. Everyone loves to brag about their kids or grand kids, and rightfully so. They are extensions of you!

Now Dexter tell us to move to the occupation. Prepare yourself for just about anything here, both good and bad. They'll complain about the boss, or boast about a project or a raise. This is another solid topic to stir conversation and inject your listening skills!

The acronym says to move to recreation at this point. Softball, football, hunting, fishing, etc. Find the pastime your new friend yearns for and question them for knowledge. Who doesn't want the world to know about the giant fish they caught last month, or the big buck they bagged over deer season. The completion of the sweater they knitted themselves is a source of pride and needs recognition, especially by you. The concern you show over people's passions is key to FORMing a bond, necessary to allowing them to be receptive to the next step.

Your message! If your selling something now is the time to bring it up and show them how it fits into their life. If you have a concern you want that person to be aware of, the message will be accepted more readily now that you've taken the time to show your interested in what's been happening in their life. A politician will be in a better position to ask for someone's vote at this point in the conversation. And if your an authority that needs to make a course correction in that person's life or job performance, the recipient will be more open to listen, now that they know you care about them first.

This is all common sense stuff, that I'm sure we all know, but I'll bet we forget to practice it! I know I do. It's great to have an acronym to remind us how to treat people as we'd like to be treated. I've seen prodigies of Dexter's use this formula and I have to say; They are some of the most effective relationship builders I've ever seen. It's a powerful bullet in the gun of life!

God Bless
Capt. Bill