Irreducible Minimum

It's funny how a phrase or a couple of words can impact your life. Pastor Bob Dickie has introduced me to a pair of words that absolutely control my thinking, irreducible minimum. You can properly address any problem is you boil it down to the irreducible minimum. Transferring that to mathematical terms, for those of you who think in mathematical terms, bringing it down to the lowest common denominator, or finding the root cause of the issue. For example....

I got a call from a harried sister who was asking if I'd run a boot camp for teens who did respect adults or the gifts in their lives. I probed, asking why ever would she need that? And she went on to explain her eldest didn't appreciate the lifestyle he led nor was he devoting the necessary time to some of his schoolwork, frustrating her. It was obvious to her that he was the problem and needed some discipline. He had set low goals for himself and didn't aspire to his potential. So I walked her through the process, bringing the issue to the irreducible minimum.

She had purchased him a truck, that he turned his nose up at, it wasn't what he wanted. So she became a lending institution and financed him a loan for the truck he wanted, keeping the original one as well. He proceeded to wreck his new truck, and she then financed another loan to get the repairs done. In the process he let his grade slip in pre-calculus, and has acquired a attitude toward his mother, including being disrespectful. She was ready to adjust his attitude via a 2X4 to the side of the head, or call Uncle Bill to correct this disrespect. I explained neither of which would work, he's not the root cause of the problem.

Poor sis, little did she know she was about to get a dose of the truth. I listened to an eerie and uncommon silence on the other end of the line as I walked her toward the inevitable conclusion. I don't believe I've ever heard her that quiet for that long, but it was nice to know she was listening for the thirty minuets it took for me to explain the cause of this issue.

Problem one, junior hasn't had to earn anything, you've given him all he's asked for and he hasn't learned delayed gratification. You've taught him the sky's the limit and introduced him to the philosophy of borrowing money to fulfill his every whim.

Problem two, this has been manifested as after he acquired his truck, he had no responsibility to pay for it's needs. No insurance premium to be held accountable for, so he disrespected the privilege of driving and ran it into a canal. The rise in insurance costs didn't affect him financially so there was no lesson learned. Then his truck was promptly repaired, at your expense. No arm no foul in his book, a teaching moment passed by because he was enabled.

Problem three, he devotes the money he makes to his whims, teaching him a warped sense of priorities. First responsibility should be to an insurance payment for his ride, no insurance, no ride. He now thinks his entertainment is a priority, and his responsibilities will take care of themselves. This has poured itself into his schoolwork, as it wasn't entertaining him.

Problem four, the disrespectful attitude. Well looking above I can see how it was learned. If you want change ,sis, your going to have to change.

Now boiling this down to the irreducible minimum the problem lies in the personality of his Momma. She's a phlegmatic, and what's worse she doesn't know it. A phlegmatic hates conflict, and loves to be loved, hence the enabling. My dear sis is now reaping the rewards of trying to be her children's friend, not their parent. I'm happy to say she has realized the lad isn't the whole problem and his life is about to take a change for the worse, but yet it will be better for him in the long run. At first glance junior might have been perceived as the problem, don't get me wrong he was a problem, but not the root cause. The time proven 2X4 method wasn't required, it's just put a bump on his hard head, and probably damage the wood, not bringing the desired results.

Me, I'm sitting back enjoying the karma of my grandmother's curse. The girls all laughed when she told them she hoped they'd have children just as bad as they were. It's not so funny now, unless of course your me!

God Bless!
Capt, Bill